


on a sunshine bus wondering where it all went wrong

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Comment Fic, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3576813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damian gets drunk for the first time at Spring Break. All he can think of is Dick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	on a sunshine bus wondering where it all went wrong

_whry jdij you_ , Damian texts. It's two in the afternoon on a Tuesday. Dick calls him, because Damian is one of those people who insists on grammatically correct text messages, and that sounded _worrying_. Possibly.

"Grayson," Damian answers. He adds about three syllables to Dick's name, though.

"Uh," Dick says. "Hey, buddy. Everything all right?"

"Yes," Damian answers. Dick can hear music in the background, the chatter of voices. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Dick says.

He waits ten seconds, twenty. "Damian?"

"Oh," Damian says. "Right. Grayson?"

"Still here, kiddo. How's spring break going?"

He thought Damian was coming home for break, but at the last minute the kid told everyone he was bound for warm beaches and "other assorted things that these cretins at my school like to do." Dick's pretty sure Bruce almost died of shock. Dick's pretty sure _he_ almost died of shock, but it's not like _any_ of them does anything normal most of the time.

"It's going…" Damian trails off, and then Dick hears him shout, "Will you turn that infernal racket off? Thank you."

"Aww, Damian," Dick says. "Are you making _friends_?"

"I am making a list of people who I am going to find guilty of some crime at some point so I can violently arrest them," Damian says. Or at least, Dick _assumes_ that's what he says. It's. Kind of slurred.

"Starting," Damian says. "With this Morgan person."

"Morgan?" Dick asks.

"I don't know," Damian says. "He's some sort of Captain. I didn't get his credentials."

"Cred – Damian, are you _drunk_?"

"Very," Damian agrees.

Dick isn't sure whether to laugh or start yelling – Damian's _eighteen_ , but hell, when _Dick_ was eighteen –

Well, anyway.

He settles on something somewhere in between a cough and a laugh. "Wow," he says. "First time for everything, right? How's that going?"

"I'm not sure," Damian says. "My mobility's compromised, and a few minutes ago I felt a strange urge to dance along to this thing everyone keeps calling music."

"Oh my god," Dick says. "Why am I not there to see this?"

Damian hums in agreement. "That's why I _called_ you, Grayson. To figure that out."

"Ah," Dick says. "Look –"

"Grayson," Damian says. "I'm drunk and horny and entirely uninterested in the cute college boys who keep walking over here to see if I want anything else. If you don't figure out a way to get here soon, there's no accounting for what might happen."

" _Damian_ ," Dick feels his face heat up. They'd agreed not to make this a thing. They'd agreed, both of them, to keep this to when they're both home in Gotham, and –

"Damian, you're three hundred miles away."

"Then use the Batplane," Damian says. "Tell my father I'm in a dire emergency."

"He'll want to come _with_."

"Oh look," Damian says. "This nice girl just offered me something called Sex on the Beach…"

" _Damian_ ," Dick growls.

"You have an hour, Grayson," Damian says. Then it sounds like he tries to hang up, but Dick can still hear him for about a minute after that, as well as the sound of Damian grumbling about stupid cell phones that can do everything but end calls.

He's totally going to have to steal the Batplane.


End file.
